Stars and Candles
by UnlockingMyMind
Summary: "Come on then? Time waits for no one...except maybe me" Slowly she let her small hand reach up and out. All the while in disbelief that someone wanted to willing hold her hand. Unofficial guardian of Carmilla Karnstein, the Doctor has never had such a young companion and surprisingly she will be with him for longer that he could ever imagine. The Carmilla Web-series X-over.
1. Chapter 1

Carmilla loved to hold peoples hands. It guaranteed safety, support and love. Heat would flow from one person to another not only providing warmth on cold nights but sometimes to pull her out of sleep when nightmares got too tough and she couldn't fight alone anymore. The first time she holds a girls hand, she feels electricity. It was innocent of course. A cute sign of affection between friends. Sure she had held her mother's hands and on occasion her fathers hand but nothing compared to the tingly sensation she got every time Isabella and her hands collided and interlaced. No one thought anything of it. Holding hands was a normal and adorable affair that was not unexpected between friends. But the older she got, the more she felt her mother's eyes burn holes into her palms and the hand holding got shorter and less frequent. But whenever she held Isabella's hand she felt tiny shock waves traveling up her veins telling her heart to beat just a little faster.

At 9 Isabella met Mark, a 15 year old handsome blonde with striking blue eyes. Carmilla thought the heart palpitations and the constant burning of her cheeks were something that was mutually felt between her and Isabella. She was wrong. Her pale white cheeks only turned pink around Mark. It made her stomach upset, twist and turn as if it were trying to turn her body inside out. Carmilla wasn't really sure what that meant. Turning to her mother for advice, she was surprisingly met with anger and fear.

"No Sweetheart no! You are confusing your emotions. You are just feeling friendship. Intense friendship. She is your best friend right? You are a beautiful girl, no doubt you will find a man in due time and then you can allow those….those ff-feelings to show. But only for him, only for a man. Hide! Hide that part of yourself! God does not allow these things. No, no. I've heard stories about girls who've strayed from God, but I never thought my daughter would gain a disgusting habit like this. No, you must hide it. I don't want to send you away. Promise me you will put a stop to this at once. I don't want to send you there!"

She had promised her mother. Promised her, with all her heart and soul. She was just confusing her feeling, she wasn't sure what she was talking about. She was just a nine year old bringing misunderstood feelings to the table. She wouldn't bring it up again she told her, she just didn't know how to hide these feelings. She had to see Isabella, as they had the same sewing classes together. Honestly, if she told Isabella her feelings about her the world would have to accept it right?

That won her a slap to the face. Clutching her cheek, Carmilla let her gaze fall to the ground. She didn't want to feel this way, why would God make her feel this way if it was bad.

"You're a child and you understand nothing. Not about life, not about his kingdom, and certainly not about what it takes to survive in a world that would pin you to the cross and burn or drown you for the sake of cleansing this earth." Her mother hissed.

They never spoke of Isabella or her palpitations or her burning cheeks again. In fact she was never allowed to see her again. Her mother still looked at her with love. Of course she would, she was her mother. But whenever there was a girl around, she was no longer allowed to be unsupervised as in the past. She wouldn't sit too close so her mother's gaze wouldn't harden. There also wasn't any handholding permitted on anyones part.

Her mother use to be the only one who would hold her, show her love and affection. Her father was a tiny bit cold hearted when it came time to give affection. He didn't think it was necessary to live a long a fulfilling life. And it sadden Carmilla to see her mother morph into her father. She would come in at night a tucked her in, but wouldn't linger. Wouldn't kiss her forehead. Carmilla felt alienated, abandoned and like a freak. But she guessed she deserved it. It was God's punishment to her, at least that is what she made herself think.

Every night when her mothers breath calmed and her father's snores filled the household, Carmilla would light a candle and kneel in front of her small bedroom window. Usually choking back sobs she would pray to God to show her a sign that she was forgiven. And that if she was that he would take her away to see the stars and give her a fresh start. Just one. She swore that she would not mess it up. She just wanted to go back to how things use to be. She didn't feel accepted, loved or really wanted anymore. She wished she would have never opened her mouth.

_Please God, take me away. I didn't want to offend you. I'm sorry. Please just take me, I'm sorry._

* * *

><p>"A fat lot of good you were." Rose called over to the tall man.<p>

"Nestene Consciousness? Easy." He responded with a shrug and a grin.

"You were useless in there." She teased, smiling and gazing into his eyes. " You'd be dead if it wasn't for me."

"Yes, I would. Thank you." He responded. With a hop and a skip the Doctor put his weight on his foot, forcing the Tardis door to open just a crack. "Right then, I'll be off, unless, er, I don't know, you could come with me. This box isn't just a Londer hopper, you know. It goes anywhere in the universe free of charge." Annoyingly, Rose's cowardly boyfriend couldn't help but add his two unnecessary cents into the conversation.

"Don't. He's an alien. He's a thing." _Obviously_. The Doctor thought. _I'm pretty sure Rose is aware. I really do wonder what she sees in this bloke. But whatever._

"He's not invited. What do you think? You could stay here, fill your life with work and food and sleep, or you could go anywhere." Rose seemed to go into deep thought. The Doctor could see fear in her eyes, but also a sparkle of possibility.

"Is it always this dangerous?"

"Yeah." _But always worth it._

"Yeah, I can't. I've er, I've got to go and find my mum and someone's got to look after this stupid lump, so."

"Okay. See you around." He responded quickly, a smile plastered on his face. Careful not to let his disappointment show, he swung the rest of his leg into his sanctuary. Closing the door behind him he flick a couple of switches and he was off. Rose watched as the Tardis dematerialised. Regret immediately settling into her.

He was stupid for thinking that she would ever dream of coming along with him. He had sentenced his whole race to death...she probably could sense death waves radiating off him. Humans were good at sensing danger, even better at ignoring it. He was the equivalent of the grim reaper to all the time lords that had ever existed. But maybe, just maybe he could make himself worthy of her.

"Come on old girl, lets go save some worlds."

The Doctor traveled through the human world for what seemed like years. Frankly, he couldn't be sure for how long as he didn't care to keep count. He was a lord of time and could go anywhere at the snap of his fingers. He managed to save Mrs. Kennedy, though the President had to go (it was a set point in time); he stopped a couple of families from getting onto the Titanic, he even went back and prolonged the Queen's life span for a few more years. He was well on his way to becoming an outstanding citizen of the universe. Then a plea coursed through the Tardis with such power that it shook up the whole system. It sent the Doctor flying from one corridor to the next.

"What is it girl?" The Doctor screamed. "SHOW ME!" A ray of light, almost like a lightning bolt shot out from the main interface and struck the Doctor right in the heart. Wait, no my apologizes. His right pocket, where the Doctor liked to store his psychic paper. It said, in the messy handwriting of a child,

..._take me away. I didn't want to offend you. I'm sorry. Please just take me, I'm sorry. _

The Doctor was surprised that Rose had such messy handwriting, she was a grown woman who had basically finished her studies. He expected her writing to be a tad bit neater, and not so childlike. Oh well, he should have known to expect the unexpected. That was rule 5...or 40 or somewhere in between.

"Alright old girl, take me where I'm needed!" He said. He trusted the Tardis with his life, sure it almost never took him where he wanted but always to where he was needed.

* * *

><p>Carmilla sighed and used the back of her hands to dry the rest of her tears. Her face burned a little from the constant rubbing. She got off her knees, rubbing a bit to get rid of the indentations the wooden floor had left on her legs and looked up to the night sky once more. With her feet shoulder width apart, palms facing towards the stars, Carmilla raised her face and basked in the light coming from the moon. She closed her eyes and imagine she could fly and sit up on the moon and use it like a rocking chair. She would be able to grab the stars and surround her body with the warmth they undoubtedly would give off. She could lose herself to the darkness and they could give her all the love and attention she could ever want. Then when she was ready they would slowly guide her to God, and then maybe he could explain why her heart felt like it would pop out of her chest when Isabella use to be around her. Her mother didn't like it, threatening to send her to an asylum or something of the sort if it did continue. Surely he could explain why he made her so unhealthy of the mind?<p>

Suddenly a noise unlike any she had heard of before in her life invaded her senses. _This must be it, he's coming._ Was all that she could think, her body tingling from the vibrations. It was a true wonder that her parents and neighbors slept through it all. The whooshing of the machine only got more powerful until, it stopped. Carmilla patted her night gown. The noise had stopped. So how was she still there?

She cracked her right eye just a bit to see if her surrounding had change. Through her window, in the middle of the garden that she and her mother had worked so very hard on, stood a box. A big bright blue box, looking quiet too heavy for a regular man to carry it and place it as a joke in such a short amount of time. There was some writing that she couldn't read on top of it. It was very confusing for her. But the child's curiosity was drawing her to it.

Slippin on some slippers, she crawled outside. Eyes wide, it was her first time leaving the house at night and it probably wasn't safe out. But she couldn't really care. She wanted to see the box up close. Carmilla was only a few steps away before the doors started to rattle and open. Carmilla she quickly ran behind a nearby tree.

"Did I mention it also travels in time?" A man in an outfit Carmilla had never seen the likes of said. He's smug smile slowly morphed into confusion. "Oh...I'm not where I thought I be, am I? Where'd you take me this time old girl." He lifted his pointer finger in the air and then set it down on his tongue having a taste. He took a big whiff of the air before saying "Why it's 1689, what a boring year. Worse than Sunday, this year is. Who needs me here"

* * *

><p>"Why are Sunday's boring. I like them. Father goes out to the bakery and brings back sweets every Sunday." The Doctor heard a small soft voice muttered from behind the tree.<p>

"Well hello there. Who might you be?"

"C-Carmilla. Carmilla Karnstein."

"Well then Ms. Karnstein, mind telling me where I am?" The Doctor bent down, putting his hands on his knees. He was trying to level down with her, get her to trust him as he knew this question would sound ridiculous to those who didn't understand where he was coming from.

"How do you not know where you are? You are in my garden, its basically ruined now. That isn't very nice of you."

"Well sometimes the Mrs clonks me on the head when I'm late from work. Makes me head a bit foggy…I am sorry though, about your garden."

"Oh well that's okay. And you are in Austria, Mr…."

"Call me the Doctor!"

"The Doctor? Okay. But what's your real name?"

"I just told you, the Doctor." Carmilla giggled a bit, not believing the Doctor one bit.

"Well then Doctor. Did God send you for me?"

"God, why would he send me for you."

Carmilla visibly sadden. "I'm sick. It would be better if I were to go I think. Not cause mom any more pain and worry, and he could fix me. Make me act normal so that I can have friends and stuff." The Doctor got close to her. Trying to gage what sickness she had. If there was anything he hated more was a sad child in need. He wanted to help her. He reached out to her putting his hands on her temple. She flinched away from his contact, eyes squeezing tight and it left the Doctor wondering when was the last time she had been touched. He scanned her brain, there was nothing wrong with her. What could this child be talking about?

"I'll tell you what. The Tardis brought me here, and she might as well be God. So lets take a walk shall we and figure out what is going out in that head of yours." He stood up and outstretched his hand, waiting for Carmilla to take it. She stared up at him, she felt like she could trust him. But he wanted her hand, she hadn't held someone's hand in months.

"Come on then? Time waits for no one...except maybe me" Slowly she let her small hand reach up and out. All the while in disbelief that someone wanted to willing hold her hand.

* * *

><p>Random Note: Well, that was chapter 1. This is the first fanfiction that I have written for Carmilla. Actually this is really my first fanfiction ever so any constructive criticism you could give me will be taken into account. I will be uploading new chapters every Tuesday and Thursday so stick around if you want to see the adventures of the Doctor and Carmilla. Any questions or other comments can be sent to my tumblr: .com.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Here is Chapter 2 of my Carmilla AU of Stars and Candles, A Moonlight Walk. This chapter is still an introductory phase of what will become a long and adventurous relationship for the Doctor and Carmilla. The story will pick up the pace from here. Also, this chapter might mention/ hint at the fact that women don't know as much as men among other sexist things. I don't personally believe that but this chapter is still set in the 1600's and the gap between what it means to be a women and a man were larger back then. Bare with me, Carmilla will grow out of it soon. Enjoy!

It was weird, the feeling of holding an odd strangers hand as they walked around. His hands weren't rough or calloused like the hands of other men that she had held. They weren't soft either. They were firm, filled with confidence and reassurance. Yet she could feel energy pulsating through his veins; they had a slight glow to them in the darkness. The Doctor said it was regeneration energy and that it was lasting way longer than usual. She didn't know what that meant and he said she would understand when she was older. She didn't think so, but she kept on clutching his hand. It was like being in a warm bed during the early hours of a cold morning, when you are too comfortable to get up and face the day. It was that comfort of a home. Home. She didn't feel like she belonged to any home now. But regardless of that, she didn't know him. So that's why it was weird.

The Doctor sympathized with the young girl, he had realized as soon as he saw her that she had been the one whose thoughts had been so powerful to penetrate all of time and distance to reach him. Or rather, the Tardis had taken special interest in the child. Enough to create a detour that the Doctor really didn't want to take. Rose could wait forever, his Tardis could take him up to a second after he had chosen to demartiliarized. But he didn't want to wait forever. Not that he would ever admit to that. It wasn't good for him to get attached. He really needed to get better at his being alone thing, or he would find out just how much his two hearts could break.

Yet he felt pulled to the girl. She reminded him of Tabitha, when she was a young girl. She would run around pretending to travel through time. He had always promised that he would take her to Barcelona, Avalon and Brues. The whole universe at the tip of their fingers. The Time Lords had an unspoken agreement. Families were not allowed to take any member under 16 through time without permission. By 16 they would have finished the academy, the would be recognized as adults. As adults they would understand why some events are set and stone and why being an observer was of utmost importance. Sure he could have taken Tabitha across the universe had she understood the concept of a secret but alas, she was too young to really know how to keep her mouth shut. He wished he could have broken all the rules for her. But she was dead, her soul was probably dispersed into tiny little atoms, traveling the world with the others. He wished he could join them.

To the Doctor, everyone was unique. No atoms would ever come together in the same ways with the same circumstances to create the same human being. He didn't really believe in reincarnation. Still the mop of thick black hair, her large brown eyes. The way her voice would rise an octave higher when asking a question to make sure she was being heard. It was all very Tabitha.

_No. They aren't the same person. I need to get my head sorted out. She is too old anyway, to really be her._

He couldn't help but squeeze her nose gently. "Moop" She raised an eyebrow. An expression that she seemed too old for her young face. 

"Carmilla, CAR- MILL-A. Carmel, huh. Hebrew, biblical. Garden, orchard funny you have one of those….ccaarrmmiilllaa." The Doctor said slowly, leaving his mouth wide open once he finished speaking. Carmilla looked at him like he was the oddest person she had met in her life. And maybe he would be.

"Why are you doing that?" Carmilla asked, trying to jump high enough to tap the Doctor's opened mouth shut.

"Nothing, just thinking. Thinking is good for your noggin. Good to keep ya smart, alert and ready to create solutions when you are in a sticky situation. Also, it can make your brain grow."

"Is that why your head is so big?" She said through shy giggles.

"Hey what's that suppose to mean?"

"Are you a good listener too?" She teased referring to his ears.

"Oi, watch what you say. Especially to someone more powerful that you." He was referring to himself of course and proved his point by swinging her up to carry her. Her nervous laughter filled the streets, but even then the Doctor noticed that she was trying to control herself. It was not the carefree laughter of a child. He had observed that she tried to control her actions, do everything with purpose and was always trying to gage his reactions. It was like she was traumatized. That is the hard thing about children, or anyone who was younger than 900 years old. Traumatic things can range from stepping on a thumbtack to having abuse parents to killing off a whole species. But deep in his gut, he knew there was an issue with her. The Tardis must have agreed as well. But it wasn't apparent to him.

Sometimes it occurred like the that. The Doctor would be placed onto the pathway of someone who would be extraordinary. The Tardis was picky that way, only the best for the Doctor.

_I have to keep on eye on Carmilla. She seems to think that there is something wrong with her but it isn't what she thinks. I should scan her, make sure she really is okay._

"You mentioned something about being sick earlier? Mind telling me what it is? Maybe I can help. I am the Doctor after all." He said, placing her feet back on the ground and kneeling in front of her. He didn't receive a verbal answer. Carmilla just raised a small finger and pointed to her head. Her eyes filled shame and she stared at the ground as willing it to swallow her. She heard the second strangest but new sound of the night. It hurt her ears, she squeezed her face together, smaller and smaller. In her mind it made her feel more protected.

"Don't worry it is just my sonic screwdriver, it's scanning your brain. Checking to see what this little sickness is that you are convinced that you have." He moved the sonic around her head, staring at it willing it to go faster as it seemed to frighten the girl. A second later, the top half of the sonic clicked shut.

"It's okay. Carmilla, sweetheart. Look no noise see." He glanced at the sonic's tiny screen, only a Time Lord would be able to read it. Carmilla visibly relaxed. "And guess what, good news nothing is wrong with you! You aren't sick. You are actually very healthy for a child in the 1600's. Surprisingly so."

Carmilla felt her knees go weak, she was unable to stop them from buckling in underneath her. The Doctor caught her before she fell to the ground. Hoisting her up so that their faces would be at eye level. "I'm not sick? You fixed me?" She asked. The strange magic Doctor man had fixed her with his wand.

"There wasn't anything to be fixed."

"Promise?" She touched her forehead to his.

_Mother always said the truth and and all true intentions are seen through the eyes. _

She wanted to make sure he wasn't lying.

_Tabitha use to do that when I promised her the stars._

The Doctor thought, realizing what Carmilla was searching for. He pushed all negative thoughts out of his mind, he didn't want to frighten her more than necessary.

"Promise." He said with so much sincerity that it brought little Carmilla into tears. And how couldn't it be sincere, it was the absolute truth.

"But then, why does mother not agree. She wants me to hide parts of myself, she said God wouldn't agree with them." Tears rolling down her cheeks.

_How can a Doctor who I just met tell me I'm okay, but my mother not think so. He is a Doctor and a man, he surely knows more than mother. But then he doesn't know me. He doesn't know what has happened.. But I don't want to tell him. This is the second chance I've always wanted. Perhaps, if mother decides she cannot love me enough to look pass what I've confided in her then this Doctor magic man can save me from her sending me away. Or maybe I could convince him, that he could treat me. He sees nice enough. _

"Sometimes there are special people born ahead of their time. They have thoughts and ideas that seem strange to others. They can look into the future and see all the possibilities. They can look at other people and only see love. It's fantastic! Those people are simply fantastic. They are rare and unique and hard to find as they can live in fear of rejection. Like I said ahead of their time. And you know what Carmilla. I think you are one of these people."

Carmilla felt an overwhelming sense of joy and pride. She would remember those words forever, even if she didn't truly understand what he meant. But he called her special and no one had ever done that before. She wanted to keep on crying but she didn't want to seem to childish, she didn't want to become a burden or bother the Doctor with her emotions. He father hadn't carried her in years and whenever she got emotional he would send her to her mother. Emotions weren't a thing that men dealt with. Carmilla didn't want the Doctor to abandon her or start to unlike her like everyone else seem to do. She had forgotten what it was like to be loved..well liked in the Doctor's case. He couldn't love her, he didn't know her. But she wanted him to like her. And maybe if she acted like him enough, the magic Doctor man would share some of his magic too.

_God sent me a magic man. I won't mess this up, I swear. _

Carmilla finally lifted her forehead away from the Doctors then, not really knowing her own strength squeezed his nose as he had earlier giving a quick "Moop" and a giggle. It actually hurt the Doctor a bit but he didn't show discomfort.

_No. _

The Doctor thought.

_This can't be Tabitha. She would never have "mooped"_ me back.

He let out a hearty laugh.

"Now that this is settled. Let's get you home Carmilla."

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. It is a few hours late, but I'm going to pretend I uploaded it on Thursday anyway. For any questions or suggestions feel free to leave a comment or find me on tumblr under saturdaysarugbyday. I'll be happy to chat with you.


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